New Zealand transgender weightlifter Laurel Hubbard was gracious to the IOC, to Japan and to her fans after she failed all three lifts with the whole world watching. Argus performs at corporate, political and charity events around the country. During the shutdown, the cable news showed a Buffalo man trudging his way through six feet of snow and clearing a path barehanded. They said it shows that in the past World Cups it was the gays who caused all the trouble. friend list, interests, likes and public profile, which includes your name, profile picture, user ID, age range, gender, networks, The next day he got a nice card from Nancy Pelosi urging him to stay positive. Comedian and nationally syndicated columnist Argus Hamilton entertains at corporate events and meetings around the country. Modern Health advised Baby Boomers to take up vigorous exercise to maintain health and extend our lives. And to cap it off, Ruperts much-younger fiance just called off the marriage. In Los Angeles Read more, Paula Deen & the N-word and much more Paula Deen said she uses the N-word when joking and suggested that black waiters dress like slaves. Hamilton: With all the potato chip flavors, who needs other foods. Hes also gotten the boot from MSNBC, KCBS, Fox Sports, NBC Football Night in America and ESPN. "I'm an English Monarchist and a Southern secessionist," Argus says. North Korea's dictator Kim Jung Un was on hand for the launch of two intercontinental ballistic missiles Sunday which were to prove he could attack the United States. Tuesday, August 4, 2009 . Argus' daily column of jokes on the news, now carried in over 100 newspapers across the United States, including the Humor Times, is also read and heard by millions on the Internet and on radio stations across the country. Laugh Factory, LaughFactory.com, the Laugh Factory logo, and all media posted have proprietary rights and are registered as trademarks and copyrights, of Laugh Factory Inc., or its affiliates. Jay Leno got a standing ovation Sunday after he crashed and fell off his motorcycle a month after he caught fire while working under his car. Meet Argus Hamilton, the funniest topical comedian in America, the man Robin Williams once called "the Will Rogers of the Baby Boom." In college I dedicated my life to causing as much trouble as he did. |, Hamilton: Honoring Willie, the man whos smoked everything. Property for Sale in Cagnes-sur-Mer, Provence-Alpes-Cte d'Azur Published Jan. 25, 2021. Hamilton: Argus responsible for pandemic; he didnt send email to 10 people, Hamilton: Southwest flight is booked for Jan. 5th or 6th or 7th, Hamilton: Even the signs are private in La Jolla, Hamilton: Harry and Meghan insist in millionth interview they just want privacy, Hamilton: The Fourth Wiseman brought a fruitcake. Argus James Hamilton III is the son, grandson and great-grandson of Methodist ministers in the South. You also get exclusive voting rights to determine what stories should be covered and what kind of content you would like to see. Hamilton: Brady too old to be a quarterback, too young to be president, Hamilton: Egg shortage? A proud graduate of the University of Oklahoma and now based in Los Angeles, Argus brings an unusual perspective to the news from Washington and around the country. The Southerner is an outspoken conservative and a loyal Trump ally. "Let's see Rush Limbaugh get to the right of that.". Hes a loyal Democrat. Help us keep the lights on with a small (or large!) This does show that billionaire womanizers always get the first draft pick. Hamilton: Is WalMart planning to invade Costco? Hamilton: Latest object shot out of sky shaped like Corvette? Check out our current wonderful Sustaining Supporters here! Argus Hamilton on the News: Medicare, Duck Dynasty & Much More! These cookies do not store any personal information. Not just muppets Hamilton: ATM in the gym lobby is best machine to impress the women, Hamilton: Bud Light has always been trans its water that identifies as beer, Hamilton: I found nuclear launch codes in a fortune cookie, Hamilton: MSNBC crucifies Trump every morning, Fox raises him from the dead, Hamilton: The Founding Fathers would be on the FBI watch list today, Hamilton: Payoffs, hush money show Trump knows how to negotiate, Hamilton: Settling for Partly Cloudy Daniels, Hamilton: Alliance aligns with March Madness bracket picks, Hamilton: Not everybody can be Irish; somebody has to drive, Hamilton: Vodka mixes well with everything but decisions, Hamilton: Tax refund will pay for that dozen eggs, Hamilton: Money left in your bank account after taxes is an IRS red flag, Hamilton: Tinker Bell has new sister in latest movie, Hamilton: Life in prison is diminishing deterrent for the aging, Hamilton: This candidate gets you four presidents in one, Uncle Sams tall hat handy when its being passed around, Hamilton: Look how much I still owe to Ukraine, Hamilton: Prez shoots down balloon angioplasty idea out of habit. President Biden was a big hit in Ireland Wednesday. U.S. numbers will start declining as our numbers lag a week behind England's. Get access to a bi-monthly live Q&A with Argus (and sometimes a special guest!). Oklahoma humorist Argus Hamilton will headline the four-day event, which also will include national and regional comedians and a special musical guest. Polls say it would end up being Biden then age 82 vs. Donald Trump then age 78. Argus is regularly quoted by daily newspapers including The San Francisco Chronicle and the Los Angeles Times, by weekly business papers including the Orange County Business Journal, by Time magazine and by radio personalities including Paul Harvey. By allowing ads to appear on this site, you support the local businesses who, in turn, support great journalism. Its a full-service bank. Argus performs at corporate, political and charity events around the country. Im an English Monarchist and a Southern secessionist, Argus says. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are as essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. He is regularly quoted by daily newspapers including, , by weekly business papers including the. Barneys Beanery owner Lauren Taines offered me a dinner for being the last bar I drank at before getting sober Nov. 3, 1986. They handle millions of web visitors at a time. Argus Hamilton's daily column of jokes on the news, now carried in over 100 newspapers across the United States, is also read and heard by millions on the Internet and on radio stations across the country. To back President Obamas gun control measures Read more, The news, as one twisted mind sees it In the news, McDonalds announced a huge increase in sales in November after its first-ever drop in October. The Washington Times reported that Medicare overpaid sixty-four million dollars for erection pumps which the federal program provides Read more, In the news: Duck Dynasty, crack-smoking mayor, lottery & more Duck Dynastys family patriarch Phil Robertson was put on hiatus by A&E Network after he compared homosexuality to Read more, Elton John, Mayor Rob Ford, the NSA & much more! Submit your best content, jokes, photos, or videos to become an exclusive Laugh Factory member and have your content shared on our website. Argus was honored by Oklahoma Governor Brad Henry as the official comedian of the Oklahoma Centennial and appeared with the governor in the 2007 Tournament of Roses Parade. Just two more payments and those dozen eggs are mine. The demonstration was amazing. Laugh Factory The food went rancid Read more, The news according to Argus! ArgusJokes.com: Argus Hamilton's column for 8-4-09 By Argus Hamilton, January 18, 2014 The Treasury Department released Congressional Budget Office statistics revealing that federal revenue this year will top $4 trillion dollars, mostly from income taxes and payroll taxes. Britain reports the Delta variant's toll on Britons was much milder than expected as infection rates fell for the seventh day in a row. Copyright 1979 - 2022. bio for Argus Hamilton agency, manager, speaker fees, speaking agency entertainment booking agency, speaker's fee, how to book, booking agencies for lectures, speaking event, celebrity appearances for hire, who is agent, manager, publicist, who represents, speakers bureau management who represents Argus Hamilton. Argus Hamilton's daily column of jokes on the news, now carried in over 100 newspapers across the United States, is also read and heard by millions on the Internet and on radio stations across the country. The Silicon Valley Banks failure was blamed on the combination of higher interest rates and the banks woke business practices. I finally heard on the news why were having an egg shortage. Grow a pair. The Canadian Snowbird Association reported that the state of Arizona gets a million Canadian visitors every year during the winter. The World Health Organization reported 15 million new cases of COVID in the first week of the year when Omicron infections peaked. Copyright Notice: This website is protected by U.S. and International copyright laws. By supporting creators you love on Patreon, you're becoming an active participant in their creative process. SPORTS. Argus was honored by Oklahoma Governor Brad Henry as the official comedian of the Oklahoma Centennial and appeared with the governor in the 2007 Tournament of Roses Parade. Its an election year and you cant be discriminating against popular businesses.President Obama met NAFTA leaders at the White House Monday.Afterwards they spoke to reporters. Donald Trump faces possible indictment in New York today for a hush money payment to the porn star. Records show most lottery winners go through their winnings in five years. I read about it in a Conde Nast tourism article, Two Reasons to Visit Seattle. She actually demanded that half of the crash dummies used be female crash dummies. A taxing Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day. Argus Hamilton - Humor Times Argus was honored by Oklahoma Governor Brad Henry as the official comedian of the Oklahoma Centennial and appeared with the governor in the 2007 Tournament of Roses Parade. Argus is regularly quoted by daily newspapers including The San Francisco Chronicle and the Los Angeles Times, by weekly business papers including the Orange County Business Journal, by Time magazine and by radio personalities including Paul Harvey.Argus was honored by Oklahoma Governor Brad Henry as the official comedian of the Oklahoma Centennial and appeared with the governor in the 2007 Tournament of Roses Parade.You can read Argus Hamiltons outrageously funny humor column on the Internet six days a week yes, six days a week (Unbelievable, says Yahoo.com). Back in 1999 Bill Clinton paid Paula Jones $850,000 to shut up and go away and in 2016 Donald Trump paid Stormy Daniels $130,000 Donald Trumps grand jury recessed a second straight day Thursday as the case against him for his hush money payment to a porn star seemed to falter. He had two mistresses fighting over him and a wife Read more. Excerpts from Argus' column are heard regularly on radio stations across the country and are quoted in the Los Angeles Times as well as in the Billboard quoted Cardi B denouncing the soaring price of groceries in Los Angeles supermarkets Tuesday, prompting economists to say her quote shows inflation is beginning to hit the rich. Theyre getting clobbered at the All You Can Eat Buffets. Silicon Valley Bank was shut down by federal regulators Fridays after depositors pulled $42 billion dollars out of the bank in one day. Qatar boasted there was no violence, no hooliganism, no alcohol-fueled rioting. Be the first on your block to get the new Humor Times t-shirt!! Hamilton-Just two more payments and those dozen eggs are all mine, Hamilton: Cant find financing for an egg salad sandwich, Hamilton: UFOs dropped off classified docs in a Delaware garage, Hamilton- All China needs is the Colonels secret recipe. Naturally Disney changed everything to make it acceptable to todays woke culture. Tiger Woods is favored to win the Masters for the first. Contact Argus@ArgusHamilton.com for more information. If he keeps quoting Southern segregationists he could wind up receiving the GOP nomination at a brokered convention.Oregon sociology professor Kari Norgard made world news Monday likening climate change doubters to Southern racists and slavery apologists. Comedy Store legend Argus Hamilton jokes about the news of the day and chats with comedians and other entertainers from the basement of the World Famous Come. Argus James Hamilton III is the son, grandson and great-grandson of Methodist ministers in the South. Fox News interviewed House Republicans who demand to learn all that's on Hunter Biden's laptop, suspecting it'll reveal shady business deals with his father and uncle. The Los Angeles Times reports the second man to step foot on the moon, NASAs legendary Buzz Aldrin married a much younger woman on his 93rd birthday Saturday in a ceremony in Beverly Hills. See if they are performing this week at Laugh Factory! More What We Offer Contact an All American Speakers Bureau booking agent for more information on Argus Hamilton speaking fees, availability, speech topics and cost to hire for your next live or virtual event. "Let's see Rush Limbaugh get to the right of that.". 69 and Robin Drive takes Diamond Valley residents by surprise, Need2Know: Bed Bath and Beyond announces beginning of closure process; Outdoor retailer REI Co-op to open Prescott store this fall; C&C Cyclery offers products and services to mountain bikers, Contents of this site are Copyright 2023 Prescott Newspapers, Inc. and Western News&Info, Inc. All rights reserved. All the trans-genders in the Games have given little girls who want to grow up to achieve Olympic stardom a new motto to live by. The very possibility of a shutdown raised alarms in Washington. Do the Bidens ever take one day off? Laugh Factory Inc., or its affiliates. Argus Hamilton Comments on the News: From A-Rod to Carlos Danger, Argus Hamilton Comments on the News: The Royal Baby & Much More. It spooked even Big Bank customers like me. The Hollywood Bowl was jam-packed Saturday night with movie stars, and longtime friends and music fans to pay tribute to the great Willie Nelson on his 90th birthday. ArgusJokes.com - Blogger You will receive 5 new columns each week and 2 columns from the archives. Become a Humor Times patron via Patreon.com! Please Note: All American Speakers Bureau is a full-service talent booking agency providing information on booking Argus Hamilton for speaking engagements, personal appearances and corporate events. Reaction was bad. When Americans turned on their TVs and saw Steven Harper standing at a podium in the Rose Garden, everybody thought for a moment itd all been a bad dream.President Obama predicted the Supreme Court will not overturn ObamaCare. You will receive 5 new columns each week and 2 columns from the archives. Things even out. Theyd better give it to us. We represent our speakers equally, so our goal is to provide a keynote speaker that best fits YOU. "I'm an English Monarchist and a Southern secessionist," Argus says. Portage Daily Register; Reedsburg Times-Press; Argus Hamilton | Speaking Fee | Booking Agent Check out our current wonderful Sustaining Supporters here! His wife had just told him were out of bacon and theres only one beer left. Contact an All American Speakers Bureau booking agent. Smaller Twinkies seen as un-American Hostess Twinkies returned Tuesday but the new Twinkies weigh less and have less calories than old Twinkies. That's not all. Please join them, and help support independent media! Argus Hamilton creating comedy column and videos Argus Hamilton Select a membership level Official Patron $3 / month Thank you for supporting Argus and his column! The Daily Mail says Google CEO Larry Page is on a private island in the Fijis until the virus ends. Traveling From California Who is Argus Hamilton, and why is everybody quoting him? The owners of the medals have notified the police. Copyright 1979 - 2022. I remember a bartender shouted out, asking does anyone knows CPR so I yelled, I know ALL the letters of the alphabet! Fox replies, hold my beer! Who is Argus Hamilton, and why is everybody quoting him? <style> body { -ms-overflow-style: scrollbar; overflow-y: scroll; overscroll-behavior-y: none; } .errorContainer { background-color: #FFF; color: #0F1419; max-width . Here's part four of our annual look at the Year in Jokes. [2] [3] [4] Hamilton began his stand-up comedy career at The Comedy Store. One boat capsized and steering mountings were knocked loose.Its times like this when Mitt Romneys yacht elevator in La Jolla suggests hed be a wise steward of the U.S. economy.Current TV fired Keith Olbermann as host of the cable networks evening news show Friday. Argus was honored by Oklahoma Governor Brad Henry as the official comedian of the Oklahoma Centennial and appeared with the governor in the 2007 Tournament of Roses Parade. Argus Hamilton Comments on the News: Umbrella-gate & More! The UN News reported Tuesday that plastic pollution in the world's oceans is expected to double by 2030. Oklahoma Speakers is a speakers bureau that specializes in helping meeting planners, corporations, and associations locate, select, and confirm the best speakers, entertainers and other talent for their events and meetings. China assured Taiwan they were just weather warships. In a nod to Holy Week, MSNBC crucifies Trump every morning and every afternoon Fox News raises him from the dead. Help us keep the lights on with a small (or large!) Then they took off and soared to $22,000 per card. We are here to help! Argus Hamilton's daily column of jokes on the news, now carried in over 100 newspapers across the United States, is also read and heard by millions on the Internet and on radio stations across the country. St. Patricks Day celebrations were held nationwide Friday honoring the accomplishments of the Irish people, their culture, their contributions to literature, and their passion for self-determination in Ireland. Hollywood should stick to doing what it does best, cocaine and each other. Argus Hamilton on the News: Carnival Cruise No Carnival, Argus Hamilton on the News: Cyprus, Lohan and Much More, Fun With The News: Carnival Cruise Liner & More, Argus Has Fun With The News: Donald Trump & More, Fun With The News: Pot Legalization & More, Argus Has Fun with the News: Sex-Texting & More. Argus Hamilton Comments on the News: Miley Cyrus and Much More! Receive no obligation help from us today. Shes going by the book. He said Italians are emotional people who like to express themselves physically. You can enjoy Argus' nationally syndicated column five days a week, Tuesday through Friday and Sunday, 52 weeks a year. My direct ancestor Lord James Hamilton founded Northern Ireland for King James I in 1606 and flooded County Ulster with British Protestants. By Argus Hamilton Published August 4, 2021 The White House didn't comment Monday on why President Biden was not invited to Barack Obama's sixtieth birthday party. Dr. Fauci warned Americans to wear three bathing suits before getting in the pool. So far, Im blessed to be having a good year financially. Argus Hamilton is the man Robin Williams once called "the Will Rogers of the Baby Boom." Argus Hamilton on the News: Duck Dynasty & Much More! Argus James Hamilton III is the son, grandson and great-grandson of Methodist ministers in the South. Argus Hamilton on the News: Toronto Mayor, Obamacare & More! By continuing to browse, you consent to our use of cookies. Hamilton: What happened to presidential quality control? language, country and your other public info. Governor Cuomo was questioned for hours over sex harassment charges. GOP Senator Lindsay Graham of South Carolina came down with coronavirus Monday even though he'd been already vaccinated months ago. Argus Hamilton - Comedian Argus Hamilton's hilarious political humor column is available five days a week, Tuesday through Friday and Sunday, 52 weeks a year. However consider the argument for sloth. NBC's broadcast of the Summer Olympics in Japan began to draw bigger TV ratings this week as the public became familiar with some of the athletes. Argus Hamilton admits he's not the type of guy to do something that's no fun. Are you singing the seasonal allergies blues? Arizona residents wonder why you call it Snowbird Season if you can't shoot at them. Argus Hamilton - Facebook House Democrats pushed Biden's voting bill as a civil rights issue to try to kill voter ID laws Friday. They just added family and relationship counseling because the minute the bank opened its doors, the lobby was filled with beautiful groupies.The Daily Caller quoted a book Monday saying Rick Perry was on painkillers during the GOP debates to relieve lower back pain. You can read Argus Hamilton's outrageously funny humor column on the Internet Tuesday through Friday and Sunday -- at www.argushamilton.com/today.htm. And it was shot down for good reason. When home in Los Angeles, he can be seen live onstage at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To know more, please view our, Political Column syndicated in 180 newspapers across the US daily, Official Comedian of the Oklahoma Centennial. Be the first on your block to get the new Humor Times t-shirt!! Who We Are is a highly acclaimed weekday digest of news analysis, policy and opinion written from the heartland as opposed to the MSM's ubiquitous Beltway echo chambers for grassroots leaders nationwide. Contact an All American Speakers Bureau booking agent for more information on Argus Hamilton speaking fees, availability, speech topics and cost to hire for your next live or virtual event. Find Property for sale in Cagnes-sur-Mer, Provence-Alpes-Cte d'Azur. Argus Hamilton is an American stand-up comedian, writer, and host of The Comedy Store Tonight starring Argus Hamilton. Argus Hamilton performs at corporate, political and charity events around the country. GALLERIES. Missouris State Fair banned a rodeo clown for life who wore a Barack Obama mask while a bull Read more, A-Rod: Trying to enhance his chances of playing again The FDA discovered e-coli in ground beef that is distributed nationwide but it wont hurt the restaurant business. Ask Argus anything you want to know or ask Argus his advice about comedy, writing, Hollywood, etc. (Unbelievable, but true.) HOLLYWOOD--God bless America, and hows everybody?Tiger Woods is favored to win the Masters for the first time since his serial adultery blew up his marriage three years ago. Fox News 92-year-old CEO Rupert Murdoch ordered Tucker Carlson fired, causing Fox stock to crash $980 million in value Monday, three days after he paid Dominion $787 million to settle a libel lawsuit. Read more, Miley Cyrus, George Clooney, Obamacare and much more Miley Cyrus and her boyfriend Liam Hemsworth reportedly broke up Monday due to her raunchy MTV Awards performance. Santa Claus has a new helper this year. Comedian and nationally syndicated columnist Argus Hamilton entertains at corporate events and meetings around the country. Comedian Argus Hamilton - Jokes on the News, Daily Prescott Interior Designs of Atlanta told Yahoo News people should change their toilet seats every five years. With all the Fentanyl out there, who needs to play Russian Roulette nowadays? Lets face it. The official Facebook page of comedian, talk show host, and writer Argus Hamilton. Thank you for supporting Argus and his column! Any debate between Trump and Biden should be held in the balcony of the Muppet Theater. All American Speakers Bureau is a full-service talent booking agency providing information on booking Argus Hamilton for speaking engagements, personal appearances and corporate events. All rights reserved. U.S. Olympic athletes inspired debates on cable news Monday on whether they represent the U.S. or themselves at the Games, and I'd say they represent us all. We thank you. The Publicists Manual states that in order to stay in the news, you scream racism for three days and then you develop a cocaine problem and get arrested on Sunset Boulevard.ARGUS HAMILTON, GB, Albert departments battle two structure fires Monday, Council OKs resolutions for Zarah loft project, Local volunteers strive to include girls in youth soccer, Bernard (Barney) John Kruse 1952 - 2023. Argus Hamilton performs at corporate, political and charity events around the country. Bookmark the page and share it! 14-Juillet: o voir les feux d'artifice sur la Cte d'Azur? - BFMTV Now Biden wants to issue his own trading card, but he's terrified they'll put his career stats on the back of the card. Hamilton: Do you know all the letters of the alphabet? They just made it into the ocean. Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts stepped in Monday and gave Title 42 a chance to stop the invasion of illegal immigrants and deadly drugs pouring across the border. Classic photo of Argus performing on The Tonight Show. Donald Trumps indictment was ripped by conservative legal experts Friday and glorified by pundits on the Left. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. The president sees an opening here. Its so sad.If PGA golfers would just tee it up in the rough every now and then when nobodys looking, they might get it out of their system.Californias Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals upheld the state ban on affirmative action in college admissions Monday. Argus Hamilton Comments on the News: Twinkies, Royal Babies & More, Argus Hamilton Comments on the News: Paula Deen & Much More. If he falls down the steps everyone will know hes running for president. Columns; Contests; Lifestyles. Social media won't tolerate any observation unless it's serious. [6] Robin Williams called him "the Will Rogers of the Baby Boom". That explains everything. FEATURES. In a related story, it was just revealed that salt water salmon caught near Seattle contain both antidepressants and cocaine. Commentary. Argus Hamilton Column Updated: Apr 4, 2012, 8:55 AM Published: Apr 3, 2012, 8:56 AM HOLLYWOOD--God bless America, and how's everybody? Used cars Provence-Alpes-Cte d'Azur France - OOYYO Reproduction and distribution of content, with or without modification, without written permission of Laugh Factory Inc., is prohibited. It is available for print and websites through ExtremeInk.com. | Terms of Service | Privacy Policy, Tucson in process of returning land to Tohono O'odham Nation, Deadly heat waves threaten older people as summer nears, 20 California condors in Arizona, Utah died from avian flu, Shooting at carnival Saturday night being investigated by Prescott Police, Photos: Prescott welcomes Whiskey Off-Road 2023, PUSD Governing Board to discuss science curriculum at May 2 meeting, Lawmakers wrestle with bill that keeps minors from porn, Blasting at Hwy. Hamilton: In those Super Bowl ads, its about what sells beer. Argus Hamilton The inventor of the Stairmaster died at 54, the inventor of gymnastics died at 57 and the inventor of opium died at the age of 116, during an earthquake. This year Bill Murray was in Florida telling cameras here we are at Tom Bradys retirement again. [5] His specialty was to make funny comments on the news of the day. The Weather Channel reported a winter storm crossed the nation Wednesday as blizzards buried the Midwest and hailstorms pounded the South. They jam up traffic, add to restaurant waiting time and clog up golf courses. But the successful stand-up comedian and newspaper columnist made a startling discovery about fun almost 30 years ago. Best prices and best deals for cars in Provence-Alpes-Cte d'Azur. The World Cup in the Persian Gulf kingdom of Qatar drew universal praise for the host country for how well the crowds behaved. Let's see what our Doctors of the Soul have to say. And Sunday marks the Protestant Holiest of Holies, the final round of the Masters at Augusta National. The cop asked me why I ran through a red light and I told him its 2023, I dont see color. Comedian and columnist Argus Hamilton's daily monologue of jokes on news events, politics, sports and celebrities. It's fun for about two weeks. He said unelected federal judges shouldnt overturn legislation. They say that life imitates art but more often it imitates Gilligan's Island. Argus' daily column of jokes on the news, now carried in over 100 newspapers across the United States, including the Humor Times, is also read and heard by millions on the Internet and on radio stations across the country.
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